Most Ridiculous Valentine’s Day Products Ever Made
Kama Sutra Cookie Set
This raunchy gift box from Naughty Cookie Box features cookies in the shape of an amorous couple in different sexual positions. Each box contains four different positions (missionary, doggy style, cowgirl, and reverse cowgirl), and you can choose between light, medium, and dark skin tone at checkout. Each gift box costs $15, plus $9 for shipping.
These would be sexy if not for the fact that it’s not really possible to sculpt realistic human figures using cookie dough, so these look more like shapeless, raunchy blobs.
Sugar Daddy Boxers
If your partner loves vintage candy and being patronized, they’ll love if you wear a pair of these Sugar Daddy boxers this Valentine’s Day. These boxers are bright, Big Bird-color yellow, and feature the same designs as the vintage Sugar Daddy candy, with the text “Lemme Be Your Sugar Daddy” on the front. Not only are they totally cringe-worthy, but they’re also extremely baggy and unflattering, especially if you’re rocking a dad bod.
Bacon Flavored Jelly Beans
If you can’t give your male partner a gift without it being somehow masculine-themed, these Bacon Flavored Jelly Beans are a perfect pick. The bacon-shaped tin contains a small handful of bacon-flavored jelly beans. Although there have been some interesting experiments done with savory candy lately, all the reviews on Amazon say that these jelly beans taste totally disgusting. If you’re getting them as a gag gift, they’re perfect, but most people won’t be able to eat more than one of these.