Celebrities are trend setters. They shape what we watch, what we eat, what we wear, and what we think is cool. They do this by taking chances, ignoring rules, and breaking convention. Cultural experimentation moves art forward. It’s why records like Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band or films like Citizen Kane are still being referenced in college campuses today. We don’t just celebrate forward-thinking celebs for their cultural explorations of the unknown. We also give them a bit of a pass when their experiments miss their mark. That is, until it comes to the names of their children.
Celebrities make strange decisions. Having children isn’t strange of course. But, naming them after inanimate objects, fictional characters, items of clothing, and produce? Well, that’s just unforgiveable.
So, let us relish in the absurdity of celebrity culture, cultural innovation, and horrendous baby names while taking comfort in the fact that we would never (ever) name our child after a… direction. These are the most outrageous celebrity baby names of all time. Let’s go!
Coldplay front man Chris Martin rose to prominence writing unpretentious dream-pop songs. Gwyneth Paltrow anchored art house films and is probably one of the most pretentious celebrities in Hollywood. Before you get all up in arms in support of Paltrow, remember that she now sells magic stickers for a living.
Anyways, the two got together, got married, had a kid, and named her Apple. Either the couple needs a serious ego adjustment or they were hoping that a name like Apple would reflect positively on the kid’s report card. Y’know, apples… teachers…