5 Twitter Beef Predictions for 2016
Piers Morgan vs All of the Women
We’re kind of worried about Piers Morgan. We’re concerned that he might have hit his head and is suffering from some kind of traumatic brain injury that has caused him to think he’s back living in the 1950s. Why else would he think it was appropriate for him to offer up his unsolicited opinion on women’s bodies and what they put on them? While live-tweeting the 2016 SAG Awards, Morgan made his thoughts on Susan Sarandon’s outfit known, calling it “tacky” and “inappropriate” because she was introducing the In Memoriam tribute and proceeded to rant about it for days after the ceremony.
Sarandon, who we think looked just fine in her Sue Ellen Mischke-style bra top under a sleek white blazer, took the comments in stride by tweeting even more pictures of her breasts, which was kind of awesome. We can’t help but wonder if Piers still would have made his comments about a younger woman, or a woman who was wearing an equally low-cut evening gown as so many others were that evening.
Anyways, we predict that in 2016 Morgan will continue to throw out unwanted criticisms of women’s bodies: Kate Winslet wearing a tight dress at Sundance? Disgusting! Helen Mirren dares to flash a little leg at a film premiere? Inappropriate! Thanks for keeping us in line, Piers.
Kanye vs Everybody
Kanye really needs to hire a better PR team, because whoever is letting that man within ten feet of a keyboard clearly isn’t doing their job. While promoting his new album, The Life of Pablo, Kanye has been picking fights and taking shots at everybody from his ex-girlfriend Amber Rose (who he called “a stripper”), fellow rapper Wiz Khalifa (who he erroneously thought was ragging on his wife Kim), beloved pop star Taylor Swift (who he dissed in one of his tracks and now claims that she’s the one lying about it) to DeadMau5 (who he compared to Minnie Mouse) and so on.
So in 2016, we imagine it will be Kanye versus the world, because he seems like he won’t be satisfied until he is universally hated by everyone. Maybe if we swing it right, we can encourage a massive Twitter war where Donald Trump, Nicki Minaj, and Piers Morgan all gang up on Kanye together and teach him a lesson in humility. Wouldn’t that be glorious?